Your Eyes Are Closed
by KrisstapherDollquette
Summary: Matt and Tai's relationship has deteriorated to the point that Matt would rather not bother. If only Tai would open his own eyes the way he did Matt's.


**I don't own Digimon. This is a sequal to a Digi-fic i wrote but sadly haven't been able to get typed up yet from its original hand-written state.**

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Matt clenched his eyes shut, his body riding on a tidal wave of euphoric bliss. His mind seemed jammed. As soon as it was over and Matt had climbed off of him, Tai was out of the bed, pulling his clothes back on, not even so much as a glancing at the blond he'd just lain with. Matt, groggy and spent, watched the brunette with lidded eyes as he lay there.  
'Fucked without a kiss again' Matt thought the lyrics, Tai bolting from the apartment.  
Tai never stayed. When they had gotten what they needed Tai got into his clothes and left as fast as he could. He couldn't look at Matt afterwards either.  
Matt lit up, pulling nicotine into his tar-abused lungs. He'd have liked Tai to stay, lay in the bed relaxing together afterwards. But no, that never happened. Tai was so ashamed of himself for participating in that with Matt that he had to run back to Sora as soon as he could. But Matt could understand Tai's position.  
Tai's parents had told him and Kari that if either of them were homosexual they would kick them out with absolutely nothing. And Tai's parents had found out about Matt's sexual preference, which had sparked their announcement to their children. Neither Tai nor Kari was allowed to be near him. So every time Tai met with Matt was a huge risk. On more than one occasion Matt had told Tai that if his parents kicked him out he could stay with Matt, but Tai always insisted that his family couldn't find out.  
The teen's parents had made him ashamed for how he felt towards the male gender. He hated himself for it. To somehow make up for it he attached himself to sora. That extremist relationship had them convinced he was ruler-strait. They went so far as to encourage him to have sex with Sora, buying the condoms and other things. Tai didn't even like sora in a romantic way.  
If only Tai would tell his parents the truth and go live with Matt, they wouldn't have to go through this. Matt could imagine just how happy they would be if Tai would only come out.  
That blissful fantasy accompanied him to sleep.

Next morning dawned with the blond rinsing last nights sweat from his skin and hair. His dreams had put him in a god mood, good enough to go to school and endure being shunned by the boy he'd been dreaming about.

So, with a sigh to get himself ready for the impending emotional difficulty, Matt left his apartment.

Lunch, one of the worst parts of Matt's academic day. He sat between Davis and Izzy at the circular table chewing and seriously considering leaving school for a breath of fresh smoke. The want for carcinogenic wasn't reduced any by the PDA going on across the table. He couldn't even stand to look up from his food (which was steadily becoming unappetizing).  
A slightly cruel smile pulled at the corners of Matt's lips. Just knowing what Tai was doing the night before made this torture barely bearable.  
One small glance up through his bangs finally soured his stomach completely and he got up, tossing his lunch away in disgust; he was almost surprised that the food in his stomach didn't follow that on his tray. The blond didn't return to the table, instead, he walked out of the building to his car and drove away, a cherry-ended cigarette between his lips.  
He took a long, long drag, just beginning to feel the relaxing quality. His subconscious reminded him how much damage he was doing to himself and he immediately showed how much he cared by inhaling again through the filter.  
Matt didn't go back to his apartment. When the engine shut off Matt's car was parked in a space next to the coffee shop. For a few minutes, he remained in his car finishing off the cigarette.  
Just walking into the thick coffee fumes inside was enough of a caffeine dosage to make him wide-awake. He found a seat in the far back after getting a large prescription of caffeine and sugar. While sitting in the overstuffed scotch-guarded chair the thoughts began to over run his mind. He toyed with the silver band her wore on the ring finger of his right hand, the ring the twin of the one Tai had worn proudly five months ago. Their promise rings…Tai still had his; he just never wore it for fear of someone finding out.  
Matt and Tai were still together; they had never let slip to anyone other than TK and Ken that they were anything other than friends. Well, Davis knew, but he wasn't about to tell.  
How Tai had come to be with sora still hadn't found a way of making sense. All he could really say was that it had just happened. That and he'd developed a healthy allergy to anything that had to do with sora.  
Matt sighed heavily and took a deep swig from the cooling beverage. He'd like to know what Tai's actual thoughts were on the subject; unfortunately, they barely spoke anymore, when they had a few moments together they were to caught up to communicate.  
However long the blond sat there pondering, it didn't seem anywhere near as long as it turned out to be; he found himself being gently shaken by another blond that looked like a younger, more innocent version of himself. He gave TK a questioning look and asked him what he was doing out of class.  
TK looked worried. "School let out two hours ago."  
Oh."  
"C'mon, let's get you home," TK said, tugging at his big brother's arm like encouragement.  
Matt followed TK out to the parking lot; the younger said his farewells to his boyfriend who'd driven him there while the elder started the car. When TK go in he said noting. But reached over and turned the stereo an; an immediate blast of an American band met with a half-choked scream from TK. The exchange was so comical that Matt fell into a fit of laughter against the steering wheel. A few seconds later, when the precursory shock wore off, TK joined in with a shaky laugh of his own and turned the music down to a no deafening volume.  
"So, you're staying home tonight?" Matt asked as he drove the car out of the lot.  
TK nodded. "I have a need to clean and Ken's parents won't let me scrub anything. Not o mention I haven't spent much time with you lately, kinda miss you."  
Matt rolled his eyes and drove them home.

The wind was ice cold on Yamato's face as he stood atop the apartment building looking down, down, down to the street below him. The headlights of cars were nothing more than fireflies. All he needed to do was step up onto the low wall and lean far enough forward… seconds later he would be on level with the firefly lights below.  
Yamato swung his leg and hoisted himself onto the wall put there to make sure no one fell off he roof. Once atop the wall he stood, admiring how clear the world was from up there. The stars were seemingly close enough to touch, his problems seemed an infinity away. He breathed the winter air deeply into his lungs. A peacefulness enveloped his unrested mind an spirit in a way he could remember having felt only a long time ago, or so it felt. Maybe he didn't need to take the dive; maybe just knowing his life was in his own hands was all he needed to clear his mind, to quiet his raging inner self. If he stood atop the roof more often the effect could be to give him a sense of life being livable.  
"Jumping isn't the answerer."  
The blond looked down and saw a bushy haired brunette standing at the wall to his left looking over it and down to the street.  
Matt gazed out across the city. "I know."  
"Somewhere beneath that blond hair of yours you still now I'm going to come live with you, out in the open and proud to be gay," Taichi said. He sounded so calm…  
"It's said if you tell yourself something enough times you can convince yourself it's true," Matt sounded the same way.  
"So how many times have you told it to yourself?"  
"Too many," Yamato confessed with a deep sigh.  
"What are you going to do about it?"  
Those words… alight went off inside Yamato's head, illuminating the long-dark corners in all those shadowed recesses. Everything clicked, made sense; his course became clear before him.  
Yamato looked down at Taichi dazedly. "I know exactly what I'm going to do…"

Taichi grinned, for the first time looking at the other boy. "Guess you better wake up so you can follow through."

The ceiling of the living room, lit with 6:3  
6 a.m. sunlight was what Matt fund himself looking at suddenly. The dream was still vivid in Matt's memory, his unconsciously devised plan blazing unforgettably. Today was the day to carry it out, he knew it, he just knew it.  
He stepped over the sleeping form of his younger brother on his way to the shower in the freshly scrubbed bathroom. Repeatedly in his mind the scenario of how he was going to execute the plan played out. It was sad, what he had to do, but there was no way he was going to be able to go on in this vein for who knew how much longer. No, he wasn't going to put himself through this a day longer. In all truth Matt just couldn't see himself living the way he was anymore.  
Once he was dressed, Matt got his cell phone and dialed Tai's number.  
"Hello?" Tai's voice came through the speaker. In the background Matt could hear the sounds of the arcade, meaning he and Kari had gotten p early to spend the day there.  
"Meet me at the back picnic table in the park," Matt said, immediately hanging up as he walked out the front door.

Matt reached the place first and seated himself atop a metal table, surrounded by a small wooded area. Being winter, it was extremely cold, but that was insurance that no one would hear them talking of see them together. The situation caused him great sadness. A year ago, he and Tai had been best friend, always together after Tai's break up with Mimi. He'd been incredibly happy back then, spending practically every waking moment with the brunette and just waiting for him to open his eyes to the possibilities Matt presented. And after Tai had, it had been magical. Now though… mat wasn't sure what was going on anymore.  
"Yama?" Tai] said, entering the picnic area with a look of tenseness upon his features.  
Matt stepped down from the table and stood before the bushy haired brunette. For a few seconds he took the last chance to drink in the other teen, affixing him into his memory. He pressed their lips together and pulled away.  
"I can't do this anymore, Tai," Matt said remorsefully, his cerulean eyes brimming with emotion. "You're ashamed of yourself for how you feel about me and I hate it. I've told you repeatedly to tell your parents and come stay with me because it; make your life easier, but you won't even listen to me. If you even do tell them, and they really kick you out, you're always welcome at my place with open arms."  
And with that, Matt slipped his promise ring off, placed in on the table, and left Tai standing there stunned.

A wee. An entire week had gone by and Matt could never remember having felt more hollow. He hadn't once seen Tai since the park, which wasn't surprising seeing as he wouldn't go near places where there was a possibility of seeing the brunette. Matt kept his eyes strait ahead at school and avoided the lunchroom, soccer field, and felt lucky that Tai was in none of his classes.  
Luckily, today was Saturday. Matt was over at his band's practice place fully focusing on the chords his fingers were deftly striking. His voice moved through each note with the type of precision that only blocking every other possible thought could bring.  
"Hey Matt, you get something on your mind?" the drummer questioned at the end of practice.  
"What makes you thing that?" Matt asked, not even glancing up from stowing his guitar away.  
"You're always at your best when there's something going on."  
Matt didn't make a remark. He picked up his guitar case and left silently, even a bit angrily. For an entire hour he'd been blissfully unaware of the nagging bitter thought. But now there were back in full force.  
The temperature outside had dropped at least ten degrees, causing him to wish he had driven instead of walked. He didn't even remember why he'd decided to walk in the first place. He let a sigh out in a puff of frigid smoke and began trekking home.  
When he finally stood outside his apartment door with key in hand her realized that the lights were on inside, meaning TK was home for the night and the door was unlocked. Feeling totally drained, Matt let himself in, kicking off his shoes and setting the guitar case down next to them. He didn't even bother to look at his brother as he made his way to the bathroom, already working on stripping his clothes off. After the long walk in the cold he was ready for a long soak in the tub.  
By the time Matt climbed out of the bath he was dead tired and relaxed beyond anything he'd felt recently. His eyes were lidded heavily when he returned to the dimly lit living room, finding that TK had already laid his futon out for him.  
Thanks TK, I'm beat," Matt said, climbing beneath the blankets. TK didn't say anything, and moments later Matt was asleep too.

Something tickled Matt's nose, something that smelled very familiar… it was comforting. He held it closer to himself, burying his nose deeper into the tickly thing.  
The thing tightened it's grip around him too.  
Matt yelled out and scrambled away, horrified. An accompanying yell of surprise came from whatever Matt had been cuddling up to. Hurriedly, Matt rubbed the bleariness out of his eyes and searched for the source of what had scared him. What he saw caused the air to become stuck in his lungs.  
"Morning to you too," Tai said from across the small room, rubbing his head where it's smacked against the wall.  
Matt's enlarged eyes took in the sight of the tanned brunette sitting in not but a pair of boxers and yawning. "When did you get here?" Matt asked.  
"Last night," Tai answered. "I was here when you got home.  
"I thought that was TK!" Matt exclaimed.  
"I thought you took showers!" Tai shot back.  
Matt was instantly confused. "What?"  
"I tried staying up to tell you but you were in the bath so long I set out the futons and fell asleep," Tai explained.  
"Ah… why are you here anyway?" Matt asked, both of them still where they'd been after the freak out.  
"Moving in," Tai said as he stood up and stretched.  
Moments passed before it clicked in Matt's head.  
"You told them?"  
"Broke up with Sora too. Did both at the same time actually."  
"How?"  
Tai twisted his back to pop it. "Well, we were all in the living room and I just did it. Told Sora I didn't want to go out with her, told my parents I like you packed my things while they were in shock, and walked out. Luckily I still had that spare key of yours."  
"So you're really here? Staying here?" Matt questioned, standing to his feet.  
Tai stepped over the mess of bedding to wrap Matt in his arms. "More like I'm staying with you. You were right, I shouldn't be ashamed of myself just for liking you."  
Matt crushed their lips together. "Glad you opened your eyes, Taichi."  
Tai smiled and kissed his forehead. "I never closed them, Yama."Paste your document here...


End file.
